Baseball and G-d

I trust in G-d 
I love my Country 
And will respect its laws 
I will play fair 
And strive to win 
But win or lose I will always do my best 

This is the pledge the players chant before every Little League game, including my twelve-year-old son.  Not only do I cringe every single time I hear the use of “G-d” in any child’s activity, but it’s even more alarming when it is mandated and used at a children’s baseball game.  I realize that a prayer of some sort was invented and widely perused far before Tim Tebow could wipe his own ass, however what does G-d have to do with baseball, or sports in general?

This country is so obsessed with the power of a higher being, one might even say a power of a supernatural (but one would be called insane for using that word), that it’s not only acceptable to use G-d’s name in just about anything in life, but praise G-d for absolutely everything!  What does G-d have to do with sports, and better yet what is G-d doing in a Little League’s pledge?  Basically, what we are teaching our children is that as long as they pray to G-d before each of their games, a supernatural being way up high in the sky will look after you and make sure you win your games!  What a way to instil false hope into a bunch of teenage boys…  Forget teenage boys, they are chanting this so-called pledge at the five-year-old’s games!

All I can think about while the players are reciting this pledge is what about Atheists on the team?  What about if your family simple does not believe in G-d, or anything that comes with it?  What about those same players going home after a game and asking their parents why in the world we have to say that we “trust in G-d”, when in fact we DON’T trust in G-d, but only in ourselves?  Isn’t G-d a bit too preoccupied with more important issues of the world to be worried about some Little League’s baseball game?  From day one, we teach our children to believe in themselves and in their abilities as decent human beings, and to trust their gut when it comes to anything and everything in life.  And then we make them PRAY before school starts and their sports games?  Isn’t it enough that G-d’s name is already in every school as it is.

Parents, am I the only one that’s outraged over this?  Please, send me your feedback!

Proper etiquette for social media!

Prior to Twitter, and Mark Zuckerberg’s brilliant invention of Facebook (hopefully you can feel the sarcasm), or even texting on our phones, people used to have manners.  Not only manners, but some form of global etiquette when it came to dealing with others.  I truly believe that with each of the above mentioned inventions, we have become dumber, lazier, and completely ill-mannered when it comes to normal human behavior.

Gone are the days when people used to call each other to find out how the other is doing, but rather text, Tweet or my personal favorite… Facebook message posted directly to the person’s wall; so not only can that individual read it but so can everyone else learn that he/she is recovering from explosive diarrhea.  And not only that, but now the universal “Hello, how are you?” has completely vanished from the conversation!  We get right to the point: “You got the kids?”, “What’s for dinner?”, “Get milk!”  No hello’s, good-bye’s, nothing.  Just straight down to business.  It’s taking me a very long time to get used to this new way of communicating, and as one friend put it… “stop treating every text message as a letter, and get to the point.”  Its taking a long while for me, and until then everyone will continue to receive my every text, Tweet, or Facebook post that starts off as a formal letter to the Queen.

The other thing that people seem to unable to learn is that unless you like having enemies, you need to stop posting things like: “I can’t wait for my party later, cooking up some yummy stuff!”, and “Can’t wait to share my new drink recipe with everyone tonight! This will be the best party ever!”  Like, Oh My God we get it, you have five hundred friends and you are throwing the “best party ever” without actually inviting people from your Facebook; however unless you are ready to greet ALL of those five hundred friends at your door in a couple of hours, I’d refrain from posting crap like that.  Do people actually enjoy getting comments such as: “Hey, where is my invite?”  and ‘Why wasn’t I invited?”  Do you feel like shit yet?  How about now?  I feel you are getting there very slowly.  Where are people’s manners…  Or is it all just so they have something to boast and brag about; showcase their mad skills of throwing a party…

How about those idiots that call in sick at work, hacking up God-knows what into the phone all the while posting a picture of themselves on a surfboard to Twitter/Facebook?  Did you forget that your boss is one of your so-called-‘friends’ on Facebook?  I guess so.  My list can go on and on.  People, please learn proper social media etiquette already.  Thank you.  Sincerely, Me.

 

While browsing online…

As I started the process of preparing for my son’s very UN-traditional Bar Mitzvah, browsing online for venues, DJ’s, catering and various other elements I came across this gem for Wyndham Hotel

Bar And Bat Mitzvah Planning
Without All The Schvitzing…

With your child’s 13th birthday quickly approaching, it’s time to plan his or her bar or bat mitzvah. And with all of the important preparations for the actual ceremony, the process of planning a party on top of it all is the furthest thing from your mind. Where should the reception be held? How do you decide on the proper menu? What about decorations? Games? Entertainment? Do the countless details have you screaming “Oy ve”? Surely, the fact that your child is about to turn into an official teenager is stress enough in itself! Let Wyndham Hotels and Resorts put an end to all the “schvitzing and kvetching.” Our experienced staff will help you select the best facility, arrange for kosher catering, and book rooms for your out-of-town guests. With Wyndham by your side every step of the way, they’ll be plenty of reasons to dance the “Horah” at your child’s “coming-of-age” celebration, including:

Bar Mitzvahs

Looking for great party ideas for boys, but not getting any guidance from your son? Themes are a great way to ensure a memorable evening. Set the action and excitement in motion around sports, embark on an out-of-this world Star Wars adventure, or light up the party with a video-game extravaganza. Or host a traditional celebration, where the colorful personalities on your guest list are just about all the entertainment you need. Having your festivities at Wyndham ensures the best of both worlds – a spectacular and special celebration for your son, and smooth and easy planning for you.

Bat Mitzvahs

Does your daughter already have fanciful ideas for her dream bat mitzvah picked out? If not, host it with the creative style and flair of her favorite movie, simulate an around-the-world vacation, or make it glitz-and-glamour night. Let our caring staff fashion the perfect tribute to your not-so-little girl. With Wyndham’s help, your daughter will wish she could have a bat mitzvah every year!

Discover just how easy it is to plan and host your next bar or bat mitzvah – with Wyndham as your experienced guide. Use our online request form to tell us exactly what you need, and we’ll make it happen. It’s that simple!

And this is what I wrote in their ‘Contact Us for more information’ page:

Dear Morons, a.k.a. Wyndham Representatives:

While looking for a venue for my son’s upcoming not-so-taditional Bar Mitzvah, I happen to come upon this brilliant website. At first I thought it was a joke, but quickly realized that this was a very real Wyndham hotels webpage.

Here are some tips if you do in fact hope to get ANY Jews to hold their Bar or Bat Mitzvah at your hotels:

1. Oye Vay is spelled Oye Vay, NOT Oy Ve.
2. When trying to appeal to the Jewish population, it helps NOT to put every Yiddish phrase in “quotes”, as you eloquently do so in the whole “Religious Events” page.
For some strange reason, when seeing quotes around the words Horah, coming of age celebration, kvetching and shvitsing it almost seems as if you are laughing as you write it. But that couldn’t be, right? You would never make fun of the Jews, could you?
3. The use of the above mentioned words, along with other Yiddish phrases are strictly given to Jews only! But you already knew that, right? I am sure the webmaster is a Jew therefore gives him every right to use such rhetorical and condescending language.
4. When trying to get on the good side of the Jewish population by inviting them to hold their sacred, religious events at your hotels, it really helps to make fun of their whole culture and religious events! That will bring them out by the masses to your venue, I guarantee it.
5. Whichever Moron wrote and put together your website, and I am sure it wasn’t just one, I’d like to congratulate him or her because you just made my day!

Way to go, Idiots!

Sincerely,

Julia Bendis

And to read more, please visit my website at: easternblocklox.wordpress.com or
http://www.jewishjournal.com/chaim

S**T Gentiles say to Jews…

After one of my hissy fits over yet another moronic comment by a non-Jew, I decided it was time to sit down and write out ALL of the idiotic things I’ve heard over the years.  So, strap on your seat-belts, lean back, relax and enjoy:

– I hope you don’t take this personally, but if I ever need a blood transfusion I won’t be able to accept yours since you have Jewish blood, and I don’t want that.

– I know you are Jewish and all that, but you still celebrate Jesus’ Birthday, right?  After all, he was Jewish.  Did you know that?

– Do all Jews have a lot of money?

– You must know a cheap nail salon being Jewish and all! (nail, hair, you name it).

– Are you only allowed to date Jewish men?

– I know you are Jewish and all that, but you still celebrate Easter, right?  After all, it was YOUR people that killed him.

– Oh I know a lot about Jewish people, the Old Testament really isn’t that different from the Bible.

– You are Jewish? How cute! My step-Father’s Uncle was Jewish. But then he became a Christian.

– You are Jewish? Oh well, that’s OK. My neighbor is Jewish, he is a lawyer. His name has something like Stein or Wein or Berg in it. Do you know him?

– I just love how you people are so good with money!

– I’m so sorry that you won’t be going to Heaven. But its not too late, you can still be saved if you just accept Jesus Christ as your Savior! (I don’t even know what that means).

– I know you are Jewish and all that, but do you want to come to Church with me? They won’t get mad that I brought a Jew, I promise. Christians are very accepting people, they don’t judge (yeah right).

– When I said Jewish people are cheap, I meant it in a good way.  You people are very good with money!

– Do all Jewish people have to learn to speak Hebrew?

– Why don’t Jewish people recruit, like the Christians? I’ve never seen a Jew asking a non-Jew to come to Temple with him, why is that? (because we don’t want or need you)

– Do all Jewish men make great husbands?  You know because they are so good with money, and you never have to worry about it…

– Your Father must be rich!

You must know of great deals for everything!

I would love to hear some of yours, so I can add it to the list.