Nikolas (7): I hate when my friends aren’t home and I have to play with myself!
I trust in G-d I love my Country And will respect its laws I will play fair And strive to win But win or lose I will always do my best
This is the pledge the players chant before every Little League game, including my twelve-year-old son. Not only do I cringe every single time I hear the use of “G-d” in any child’s activity, but it’s even more alarming when it is mandated and used at a children’s baseball game. I realize that a prayer of some sort was invented and widely perused far before Tim Tebow could wipe his own ass, however what does G-d have to do with baseball, or sports in general?
This country is so obsessed with the power of a higher being, one might even say a power of a supernatural (but one would be called insane for using that word), that it’s not only acceptable to use G-d’s name in just about anything in life, but praise G-d for absolutely everything! What does G-d have to do with sports, and better yet what is G-d doing in a Little League’s pledge? Basically, what we are teaching our children is that as long as they pray to G-d before each of their games, a supernatural being way up high in the sky will look after you and make sure you win your games! What a way to instil false hope into a bunch of teenage boys… Forget teenage boys, they are chanting this so-called pledge at the five-year-old’s games!
All I can think about while the players are reciting this pledge is what about Atheists on the team? What about if your family simple does not believe in G-d, or anything that comes with it? What about those same players going home after a game and asking their parents why in the world we have to say that we “trust in G-d”, when in fact we DON’T trust in G-d, but only in ourselves? Isn’t G-d a bit too preoccupied with more important issues of the world to be worried about some Little League’s baseball game? From day one, we teach our children to believe in themselves and in their abilities as decent human beings, and to trust their gut when it comes to anything and everything in life. And then we make them PRAY before school starts and their sports games? Isn’t it enough that G-d’s name is already in every school as it is.
Parents, am I the only one that’s outraged over this? Please, send me your feedback!
As I started the process of preparing for my son’s very UN-traditional Bar Mitzvah, browsing online for venues, DJ’s, catering and various other elements I came across this gem for Wyndham Hotel
Bar And Bat Mitzvah Planning
Without All The Schvitzing…
With your child’s 13th birthday quickly approaching, it’s time to plan his or her bar or bat mitzvah. And with all of the important preparations for the actual ceremony, the process of planning a party on top of it all is the furthest thing from your mind. Where should the reception be held? How do you decide on the proper menu? What about decorations? Games? Entertainment? Do the countless details have you screaming “Oy ve”? Surely, the fact that your child is about to turn into an official teenager is stress enough in itself! Let Wyndham Hotels and Resorts put an end to all the “schvitzing and kvetching.” Our experienced staff will help you select the best facility, arrange for kosher catering, and book rooms for your out-of-town guests. With Wyndham by your side every step of the way, they’ll be plenty of reasons to dance the “Horah” at your child’s “coming-of-age” celebration, including:
Looking for great party ideas for boys, but not getting any guidance from your son? Themes are a great way to ensure a memorable evening. Set the action and excitement in motion around sports, embark on an out-of-this world Star Wars adventure, or light up the party with a video-game extravaganza. Or host a traditional celebration, where the colorful personalities on your guest list are just about all the entertainment you need. Having your festivities at Wyndham ensures the best of both worlds – a spectacular and special celebration for your son, and smooth and easy planning for you.
Does your daughter already have fanciful ideas for her dream bat mitzvah picked out? If not, host it with the creative style and flair of her favorite movie, simulate an around-the-world vacation, or make it glitz-and-glamour night. Let our caring staff fashion the perfect tribute to your not-so-little girl. With Wyndham’s help, your daughter will wish she could have a bat mitzvah every year!
Discover just how easy it is to plan and host your next bar or bat mitzvah – with Wyndham as your experienced guide. Use our online request form to tell us exactly what you need, and we’ll make it happen. It’s that simple!
And this is what I wrote in their ‘Contact Us for more information’ page:
Dear Morons, a.k.a. Wyndham Representatives:
While looking for a venue for my son’s upcoming not-so-taditional Bar Mitzvah, I happen to come upon this brilliant website. At first I thought it was a joke, but quickly realized that this was a very real Wyndham hotels webpage.
Here are some tips if you do in fact hope to get ANY Jews to hold their Bar or Bat Mitzvah at your hotels:
1. Oye Vay is spelled Oye Vay, NOT Oy Ve.
2. When trying to appeal to the Jewish population, it helps NOT to put every Yiddish phrase in “quotes”, as you eloquently do so in the whole “Religious Events” page.
For some strange reason, when seeing quotes around the words Horah, coming of age celebration, kvetching and shvitsing it almost seems as if you are laughing as you write it. But that couldn’t be, right? You would never make fun of the Jews, could you?
3. The use of the above mentioned words, along with other Yiddish phrases are strictly given to Jews only! But you already knew that, right? I am sure the webmaster is a Jew therefore gives him every right to use such rhetorical and condescending language.
4. When trying to get on the good side of the Jewish population by inviting them to hold their sacred, religious events at your hotels, it really helps to make fun of their whole culture and religious events! That will bring them out by the masses to your venue, I guarantee it.
5. Whichever Moron wrote and put together your website, and I am sure it wasn’t just one, I’d like to congratulate him or her because you just made my day!
Way to go, Idiots!
And to read more, please visit my website at: easternblocklox.wordpress.com or
Yesterday was the last day of my children’s freedom, and incidentally the last day of my imprisonment. As I counted down the dwindling hours of winter break, I was also counting down the hours till my head was going to stop throbbing and my voice would sound human again (oppose to a hissing, barking, and squealing-female version of a prison guard type of a voice).
So, I decided to reward my boys with a lunch at Red Robin (mainly because I had a coupon) to celebrate their last day of vacation! Even though they didn’t seem to appreciate my goodwill and sarcasm about the whole thing, they still agreed to go. What a tough life! Poor little children being taken out to lunch after having endured two weeks of fancy shmancy activities, trips, restaurants and who could forget not one but eight nights of Hanukkah. Next year, I already told them that they will be taking a little trip to Skid Row for the holidays; and later I will re-wrap their already played and forgotten toys for Hanukkah.
After being seated along with the many other Moms who had the same exact idea, I tried making conversation in between Atari’s Breakout and NimbleBit’s Tiny Tower; yes they are over Angry Birds and Plants vs. Zombies or whatever the hell their names are. Let me tell you, it requires some serious mad skills to be able to carry on a conversation with your Mother while building a whole condominium at the same time, and don’t get me started on those pesty little people walking around needing something every ten minutes, the alarm on Tiny Tower is the most annoying thing I’ve ever heard in my life, right next to a child crying and whining at the table next to me while I’m trying to enjoy an ‘Adults Only’ dinner. Why is it that its perfectly alright for the child to throw a fit in a public place, but it is NOT alright for me to come over to it and smack it on the head? My theory is if the child’s parent isn’t going to do anything about it, that clearly means they want other adults to do something about their annoying child’s behavior. You with me on this? Good, moving on. Oh wait, one more thing before moving on… As my Father likes to say quite often, “When I was a little boy in Lithuania (FYI, we lived in Latvia, but that’s not the point) if a child ever talked or cried in public, any adult was allowed to come up and shut that bastard up! End of story.” Alright, so I added the last part from myself but you get the point here.
Somehow I managed to get my kids’ little eyes away from their iPods long enough to have a five-minute dialogue about our adventures in Florida back in the day. Specifically, my oldest wanted to know why I took him to a ‘HOOTERS’ restaurant in Orlando one day. His words: “Mom, I just don’t understand. I was only like 7 or 8 at the time! Why would you think it was appropriate for me to see girls in very short shorts and boobs everywhere serving me food? If I wanted to see that, I’d stay at home and look at you.” First of all let’s get something straight, I’ve never in my whole life worn short shorts or shorts of any kind. My idea of shorts are pants that come up to my calf, I believe they are called ‘Mom shorts’ a.k.a. Capris. Second of all, I have never until that day been to a Hooters restaurant, nor have I heard much about it. Sure I’ve heard the name, but didn’t know what it was about. Believe me, as soon as we walked in I realized it was not your typical place to eat. Maybe we stayed because I was curious, and maybe it was because we were both starving and the other closest restaurant was not close by. After explaining such to my twelve-year-old, he seemed pretty satisfied with the answer and immediately after went back to destroying aliens, or building a house for them, not quite sure which one. After a minute, he looked up and added this interesting fact: “It’s OK Mom, I am not mad at you. Turns out most of my friends have been to Hooters with their Dads anyway, so it wasn’t just me that was put through that torture. And to tell the truth, I like girls now so its OK. Let me know if you’d like to go there again.” Oh thanks son, make me feel like the worst parent ever, then reward me with that little announcement…
My six-year-old caught wind of ‘boob talk’ and decided to chime in, specifically wanting to know where there’s such a place with girls in short shorts and boobs everywhere, and more importantly why I’ve never taken HIM there? Oye, how can one brother be so different from the other? One is all about the rules and structure, and the other only wants to have a good time. Boy I sure hope the older one doesn’t find out about my new tattoos, there is a lecture I’d like to avoid. Last time it only lasted a week, who knows how long this one will take… I plan on keeping a shirt on whenever taking him to the pool, beach and anywhere else that requires a swimsuit. Stay tuned for that conversation, I am planning on recording it…