- Why Oh why do people insist on asking how you are doing, when they don’t plan on listening to the answer? Just say “Hello” and keep walking! But don’t ask people how they are, and then interrupt them mid-sentence to tell them how late you are and need to run!
- Why is it that THESE days before kids can go on any play-date, you have to do a background and criminal check on the parents first?
- Why do people waste money on Therapists when all you have to do to “De-Stress” yourself is sit, and pet your dog for an hour?
- Instead of calling someone back why do people E-MAIL instead? If I wanted to e-mail you, I would have emailed you on the first place! Yes, I know sometimes I’ve done it too, but only if its way too late to call and I always call back the next day. If I call you, that means I want you to call me back, not e-mail, or text or Instant Message me!
- Why do people come up with excuses for not being able to do one’s job instead of just admitting that they are lazy? It would save so much valuable time!
- While driving around, I always make a mental note and try to remember locations and names of random stores, restaurants and specialty shops! For example, for years now I have been telling myself to remember this shop that sells all kinds of Uniforms, e.g. for Nurses, Doctors, vets, etc… Why? I have no idea. Just in case one day I decide to become a Medical Nurse and need to know where to get the Uniform…
- What is the difference between verbal gossip, and spreading rumors in person versus what you read online? How is one different from the other? One is verbal gossip and the other is written gossip. Is there a difference?
- Why is it when I order chicken with noodles at a restaurant, every once in a while I also get a few pieces of rice in there or some other food that I didn’t order, and which doesn’t belong? Its almost like they were making my food along with someone else’s and I got a part of it! What if they were making fish for the other guy, isn’t that cross-contamination? If I order noodles, I want noodles. I don’t want bits of rice in there too!
- Why do people always complement on the clothes you are wearing, instead of how you look? I didn’t make the shirt, I just picked it out. Don’t tell me you like it, tell me you like my taste or how I look in that shirt. That makes more sense. You like the shirt, go tell it to the manufacturer!
- And last but not least… Why are people so inconsiderate when out in public? If you have a cart full of groceries, but there is a person behind you that has two items, don’t be a jerk and let that person go in front of you! Its not going to kill you, trust me.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the many jobs I have had, all through my teenage years and adulthood. The reason I started thinking about them is simple: every time my children talk about what they want to do when they grow up, and it changes daily, I usually have a funny anecdote about the many jobs I’ve done and why I’ve had so many.
Here is a list of all of them:
– Nanny – actually did this for a couple years, only God knows why… I hate kids, but the money was good and for some reason the kids loved me… Go figure.
– Assistant/File Clerk – did this for about a year, was fun until one of the Managers started hitting on me. Sexual harassment was an unknown behavior then, it was just something you put up with, kind of like a creepy old Uncle who your family insists you “have” to give a hug to, even though you know it’s lasting way too long and way too tight. After professing his undying love for me, in the form of a three-page letter to a then-sixteen-year-old me, I quickly realized that this Manager wasn’t going to stop trying. Having an on and off boyfriend didn’t help either, so I hired a senior football jock from my high school to pose as my boyfriend, which worked for a while. After a couple months the jock kept showing up to my work, even though I had already let him go as my pretend boyfriend. To make a long story short, I lost one 30-year-old stalker but gained a new one. At least the jock was of decent age. I had no choice but to quit this job for two reasons now…
– Dental Assistant – did that for one day, once I had to place my hand into a patient’s mouth, it was all over for me. Does not require much explanation.
– Sales Associate at Lechter’s Housewares in the mall – remember that store? I left due to heavy recruiting from my next job, see below. And a promise of a fifty cent raise!
– Sales Associate at Robinsons-May – was a fun job, loved talking to all the customers, not sure why I left… Oh yes, I did more talking than selling. I had the lowest sales of pots and pans in the whole department, but I gained many friends and various kitchen appliances.
– Front Desk Receptionist at YMCA – loved having this job, and letting people in that haven’t paid for a membership in years, great feeling until I realized that YMCA is a non-profit Christian organization… But what non-profit Christian organization charges people $50 per month to work out in an old, mold infested basement without air conditioning? I credit myself with the new electronic system that YMCA geeks installed after an old guy got hurt on my shift. Turned out he lied about being a member of the YMCA, and didn’t really forget his card at home. Really, I had no idea!
– Assistant Chef for a Catering company – worked there for three months, just because I love cooking and thought I can have a career in it. The company went under due to Health Department finding out they consistently cross-contaminated work stations, left raw meat soaking in sinks overnight, used the same cutting boards for chicken, meat and vegetarian meals!!! How do you think they found out?
– Various stints as a receptionist which I sucked at. Who the hell can remember a name like: Kramer, Smetzel, Spaulding and Steinberg? Not only remember it but be able to recite it every single time the phone rings? So what if I a few times throughout the day instead I answered the phone like this: “Good Morning, thank you for calling Seinfeld, Sandler, Stiller and Kaufman. How can I help you?” When the President of the company came by to find out why he hasn’t had any calls, I was just as shocked as he was since all I kept getting were hang ups. It probably didn’t help my case when I chatted up every person that called. I just wanted to understand better why they were suing McDonald’s… It must be frustrating to have an idiot for a child that drinks an accidentally left bottle of liquid bleach on the table. Even more frustrating is to be that Mother who raised the idiot that doesn’t stop after one gulp and realize that it tastes like crap…
My point of listing all the mindless jobs that I’ve done over the years is this; do we ever truly know what we want to do for the rest of our lives? I realize that there are some of us who, from the time they are five years old know what they want to do when they grow up, and sure enough end up doing it. There are also those of us that have some kind of an inkling about what interests us, and in what direction we might go. But what about those like myself who even at thirty-five-years-old still don’t have that “one thing” that we want to do? Are we supposed to stick to just one thing and continue doing it, even if we are not that interested in it, however society telling us that we can’t jump from one thing to another, and need to pick just one job or field and concentrate on it…
What if I am interested in everything?
The one constant has always been writing for me. I have always loved to write, and imagine will continue to do so until I am no longer able. Then, I will recruit and pay some kid to do it for me. Besides writing, I have tried so many different things and professions and feel better knowing that they are not for me after having done them. I don’t understand how kids in their freshman year of college are supposed to pick their Major and stick to it having known absolutely nothing about it! How can you know for sure that you want to be a Dentist when you’ve never stuck your hand into another person’s mouth and fixed a tooth? How can anyone know for a fact what they want to do for the rest of their lives having never tried it? Its only my opinion that parents throw away thousands of dollars on children’s college education before letting them “test-drive” their chosen profession.
Every high school graduate should take a couple months to go work in the field that they are interested in, before starting college in the fall. I guarantee that half of those kids are going to change their minds, but better right then instead of four years down the road. Maybe I got it all wrong, but somehow it makes a lot of sense to me… Again, just my opinion…
Please tell me how can anyone get ahead in this world, financially that is? I should rephrase: how can an average person with children get ahead in this world? I sit here pondering that question while staring at the Orthodontic Invoice for my fifth-grader’s teeth! Three Orthodontic consultations later, and I am left facing a very grim truth; having to pocket out $5,000 worth of braces. Yes, I know I am not the only parent out there having to face this outrageous cost. But here is my question to all of you out there: How the hell do you do it? Just when I think we are doing well, getting ahead, saving for our future, retirement, and our children’s college education, and when I say college education I am talking about Saddleback Junior College down the street… boom, something happens and I am writing checks… Forget my son’s Bar-Mitzvah money in two years, I am about to start asking for donations for his braces! Do I start pulling money out of their college funds just to pay for braces? Do I send the 11-year-old to work, make him earn his braces? That doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me… Problem with that is that I am the weak parent, I am a softy when I see their cute, sad little faces, guilt sets in and I end up giving in. Most likely I will be the one sitting at the drive-through in McDonald’s window asking if you want fries with that burger, because my kid was too tired to go to work… Or maybe I could start selling their Bakugans, DSI’s, PSP’s, Ipods, and other mindless entertainment toys on Ebay… Can you pawn children on Ebay, and come back for them when the braces are paid off? No? That’s too bad. In all seriousness, how do you parents do it? Between all the usual expenses, extra-curricular activities, sports, various lessons, memberships to the Temple, Hebrew school, teacher gifts, donations to the school every other month, class trips and parties, not to mention putting food and clothes on their backs, how the hell are people supposed to just LIVE? Yes, I know America runs on Loans, but isn’t there something wrong with that? Europeans know the true way to live, without all the tangible possessions, credit cards and loans that they can’t afford to pay back, but its virtually impossible to implement that thinking into our society. How can an average parent strive to live on bare minimum, teach the kids that physical possessions are not important in life while the neighbor’s kid is getting showered with a boatload of unnecessary garbage called toys? We all try, but usually are overcome with guilt, and I speak for myself here, give in and buy yet another Power Ranger or some other piece of crap… As I go looking for answers, which really means yelling at my insurance company for not covering more on the cost of braces, I would love to hear from my readers on how you balance it all out!
1. Don’t you love those people that use ALL CAPS when typing? What is the thought there? That unless you use all capital letters nobody will read your email, or that its a lot more important that other people’s emails? And furthermore the same people that use all caps, don’t know how to spell and apparently have never learned about punctuation marks or anything else that normal people use when writing… Do you have any idea how hard it is to read an email that is not only in ALL CAPS, but missing commas, periods and grammatically incoherent? This is an example of an email I received the other day:
I JUST GOOGLED ALL THE GAMES PLACE SO WE CAN HAVE THE ADD:
THIS WEEKEND ON SUN IT’S AT CORNA GYM @ 2:15 THE ADD IS 502 S VICENTIA AVE, CORONA , CA , 92882
THEN 2/26 @ 2:50 AT LA MIRANDA HIGH SCHOOL ADD : 13520 ADELFA DRIVE, LA MIRADA , CA, 90638
AND 2/27 @ 3:25 AT NORCO RILEY GYM 3900 ACACIA AVE , NORCO , CA, 92860
IF WE WIN WE WILL GO ON TO A 4 TH GAME THAT WILL BE ANNOUNCED.
ALSO WE AS A TEAM HAVE TO PAY A $10 FEE TO THE SCORE KEEPER PER GAME FOR ALL 3 GAMES IT’S LIKE $3.50 PER KID IF YOU COULD GIVE THAT TO THE COACH ON SUN GAME THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
ALSO WAS WONDERING WHAT EVERYONE’S THOUGHTS WERE ON A TEAM PARTY AFTER ALL THE CHAMPION SHIP GAMES ARE DONE?? SHOULD WE HAVE ONE ???
PLEASE EVERYONE LET ME KNOW YOUR INPUT ON THE PARTY ??
*** TREAT AND DRINK I HAVE SEAN FOR THIS SUNDAY MICHAEL FOR NEXT SAT AND WE STILL NEED SOMEONE FOR SUNDAY’S GAME PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANYONE CAN DO SUN??? THANKS IN ADVANCE TO THESE PEOPLE FOR BRINGING TREAT AND DRINK AGAIN.THANKS
Can any rational person understand what the hell any of that means?
2. What about those morons that abbreviate every other word! I am talking about a long email, not a text that only allows you 160 characters. Are you that fricking lazy that you can’t even write out all the words in your pathetic e-mail? How the hell am I supposed to know that ADD stands for address and not actual ADD illness? Or are you trying to tell me that you have ADD, and therefore can’t sit long enough to write out words correctly?
3. How about those of you that feel the need to post your every move on Facebook or Twitter! “Going to the supermarket with my wonderful hubby, then for some romantic dinner at Blabetty Blahs” Really? Do you really think people give a damn? Or my favorite one: “What a beautiful day! I want to thank God for my wonderful husband, my perfect little children and my perfect little life! If it wasn’t for God, I couldn’t be enjoying this incredible day!” Yes, we get it you love God, you are a born-again whatever, you found the meaning of life, you are all of a sudden not a miserable person that you used to be, and even though you used to do crack, smoke everything under the sun, steal, lie and cheat, we get it that now you are a changed person, all because you found… drum roll… GOD!
4. Speaking of Facebook, how about those socially inept human beings that post their engagements, pregnancies, and other special, private moments on Facebook prior to actually picking up the phone to share the news with their family and friends! I am all for people making making their own mistakes, looking like fools and all that but how idiotic is that?
5. Yes, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Vests! What a waste of money and material.
6. I absolutely love those people that insist on licking their fingers while eating. I can not think of a more grotesque habit than that! Can you imagine sharing food with that animal? Hey imbecile, that big white thing you just put on your lap is called a NAPKIN, and you wipe your hands on it. It’s not just there for the food that misses your mouth.
7. How about those parents that refuse to admit that their kid is a brat? No, my kid would never do that. You are right, that moron that I witnessed with my own two eyes karate-kicking another moron in the back was obviously not your kid, he just happened to look like your kid who also got into your car afterward, right?
8. No matter what’s happening in the world, everyone blames the Jews. It doesn’t even matter what it is, wars, recession, Charlie Sheen’s addiction, every single time its the Jews’ fault. (Read more about that later)
9. People that have to create something out of nothing! Drama junkies. Even if there is absolutely nothing, those people will find something to argue about.
10. And my favorite are the women that complain about their husbands losing jobs, yet they continue driving their luxury SUV’s, parading around with their Louis Vuitton bags, and refusing to get a job of their own.