About Julia

My name is Julia Beynart-Bendis and I was born in the Ukraine, in the former USSR, and grew up in Riga, Latvia which is on the Baltic Sea.  My family and I immigrated to the United States in 1989, right before the fall of Communism.  I believe that many Russian immigrants have used humor as a way to cope with the conditions of life in the former Soviet Union and life in general.  I am definitely one of them.  Have you ever seen photographs of Russians during Communism?  Or better yet Russian Jews?  Nobody smiled in pictures, ever.  It wasn’t allowed.  If you smiled, that meant that you were happy about something, and THAT meant that you had something that others didn’t.  That was definitely not allowed in Socialism, and would be reported to the proper officials!  Everyone was supposed to be equal, and have the same amount of everything from money to food to shelter.  We all know how untrue that was, and how well that turned out in the end…

But when you were behind closed doors, closed windows and curtains you felt the need to enjoy yourself, laugh and make fun of the government.  Of course it had to be done very quietly, and only behind blaring Communist music. But it was a necessity due to such terrible conditions as lack of food, money, clothing and everything else that people need and deserve.

I started writing in high school, not only as comedy relief for myself to get through school, but also as a way to deal with being the new kid, being the only Russian, Jewish kid in the entire school, and city.  I believe there was only a handful of Russian/Jewish families living in Orange County at that time.

Most kids didn’t even know how to talk to me, or my younger brother.  We didn’t speak a word of English, we didn’t understand a word of English, we looked funny, and I am pretty sure smelled funny since bathing is optional in Europe, and typically a once a week kind of a deal.  It took us a few months to figure out that we needed to take more showers, wear the same outfit only once, and invest in anti-perspirants.  Once we got that down, my brother and I had a daunting task of trying to make friends which was a daily battle.  How do you make friends when all you know how to say is: “Hello, my name is Julia.”  And my parents had a difficult task looking for work.  Not many places wanted to hire a Mechanical Engineer that used such proper English that no American could ever understand him.  That was the way English was taught in Russia, the British-English.  He uses such words as: “Pipeline, Propulsion, and Pressure Transient Analysis”, all in the same sentence…

And my Mom the Microbiologist, well… I got a whole page devoted just to her, click the “Emails from Mom” button on the top.  As an example, she once wrote a note to the Lab Assistant that started like this: “Dear Lab Ass…”  Apparently, she was in a rush and decided to abbreviate.  When the Supervisor came to ask her why she is so angry and what the problem is with the Lab Assistant, she still had no idea what they were talking about.

I love my parents, and would never have gotten the opportunity to write freely if they hadn’t moved us to the U.S. for a better life!  But, unfortunately for them, much of my material is based on their imperfect English.  Among other things, I write about family, kids, the funny and inappropriate things they say, being Jewish, being a Russian Jew, living in California, current events, politics, celebrities and how little their lives matter to the rest of us, and much, much more…

I still reside in Orange County along with my husband Scott, sons Tyler and Nikolas and a dog named Sadie.  You can read more of my Shtick, as well as hysterical Emails from my Mom, stuff my kids say, etc.  Also, follow me on Twitter, and at the Jewish Journal: http://www.jewishjournal.com/chaim

Thanks for reading!

Julia

10 thoughts on “About Julia

  1. Hi Julia…its Emily from WE gym…your” conversations” with your kids are histerical! Good luck…you are funny:)

  2. Hello! I just saw that you joined the Crazy Chicks Club and thought I would check out your blog. I really like it! Funny. The banner is adorable, and that story about the “Lab Ass” just made me spit pomegranate seeds across the table! Totally something my mom would do. Hysterical! Can’t wait to read more. ~Pam

    • Thank you so much We’re Jumping 🙂 You literally made my day! Been thinking of going anonymous, and changing the name of my site. My family isn’t so supportive as i’d hoped they would be, I guess the fact that I am talking about them is not something they want 🙂 I am also trying to get up the nerve to do stand-up comedy, hopefully I will succeed. Again, thank you so much for your kind words, really made me want to continue writing!

      • My blog is public, and most of my family know about it. I still vent out on my mine. If it hurts them, then we can talk about it, but if not then just let it go. You can’t hold grudges with family just bite the bullet and go. Also, if I post about family then I don’t publish it to Facebook, that way if they want to be nosey they can look it up haha!! Other words, don’t give up what makes you happy and what makes you stay sane! 🙂 Keep on writing girl, you deserve it. (If you do a difference name, let me know so I can stalk ya, haha I will definetly follow either path you have to go)

  3. Julia !! I love your blog and relate! My mom is from Moldova, my dad is from latvia and my stepaprents are from St. Petersburg and Uzbekistan :-))

    Is your husand Jewish? (Please say yes. But if the answer is no, I promise I won’t guilt you)… I was laughing so much at your moms emails. Mine still refuses to use one.. she just uses my stepdads. Her explanation: “Ja dostatochno polzovayu computer na rabote, menya zakalibali s etay novoy teknalogie”

    Also think it’s hilarious what you wrote about Jewish men that cheat.. a lot of these American jappy you know what are giving us (Jewish women) a terrible name and don’t know anything about keeping men happy. They can’t even keep themselves happy, they’re always complaining! Jewish men in this country build up terrible associations with them and avoid them.. and now Jewish women are catching up. We need our femininity back..

    Keep in touch. And keep doing what you’re doing!

    Sevo Dobrogo..

    Jackie

    • Thank you so much for kind words, and for reading! There’s definitely a lot of inspiration from our Immigrant parents. And yes my husband is Jewish also. How did you hear or find my blog?

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