Other Useless Articles of Clothing

So, I talked about how idiotic Vests are, now I have compiled a list of similar useless clothing items:

* Skinny jeans/pants:  Yes, I admit I have bought a pair or two, but only to wear very big boots over them.  Let’s put it this way, if you have any shape to your body at all, and your middle section is curvy a.k.a you are a woman, when you wear skinny jeans you look like a giant pear with legs!  In my opinion, the only way any “normal” woman can wear skinny jeans is to balance it out with boots to minimize the 90’s look, when jeans were tucked into socks…  But then again, if you are a Victoria’s Secret model, and have a stick for a body, skinny jeans look amazing!

* Shorts for women:  This one is my absolute favorite!  I am talking about those short shorts, that come up above the knee, well-above the knee.  I don’t care how skinny and in-shape you are, you don’t look good in them!  Nobody looks good in them!  They are the most un-flattering piece of clothing ever made.  It doesn’t matter how built your legs are, you look absolutely ridiculous wearing shorts.  I have wanted to stop women on the street, and beg them to go back home to change into something that covers their legs…  My kids laugh when I say I’m going to put on some shorts, and come back with Capri’s that stop above my ankles.  That’s my kind of shorts, everything is covered.

* T-shirts for women:  This goes along with the shorts above.  Unless its a tailored, fitted, tight T-shirt made for a woman, why would you wear it?  Most regular T-shirts are made for men, and have absolutely no shape to them, they are straight all the way down, with no waist.  It just makes you look bigger than you already are!  I do have a funny story about me “having” to wear a T-shirt once, and it wasn’t by choice…  I was about 7 months pregnant, at my husband’s family reunion.  My Mother-in-law passed out these white, iron-on T-shirts that she made with everyone’s picture on them.  I absolutely refused to wear it.  Can you blame me?  Not only am I a whole of five feet tall, but also seven months pregnant!  I couldn’t even accentuate it with a tight belt around my waist, since my belly was so big.  She promised that if I wore it for one picture only, she wouldn’t make me wear it again the whole trip.  To this day, I cringe every time I look at that picture.  I looked like a giant white egg, with a tiny head sticking out of it…

* Crocs:  Sorry, Croc lovers, let me spell this out for you: CROCS ARE A BUNCH OF CROC! They are not cool, and they don’t make you look cool.  If you are under the age of 8, you should be fined if you wear them outside the house!

* Overalls:  This I shouldn’t even have to explain.  No matter where you live, unless you are a farmer there is reason to wearing overalls.  This isn’t 1992 people, get with the program!

* Wife-beaters, a.k.a. Men’s Hanes tank tops:  Does this really need an explanation?  Doesn’t the name say it all?

Stay tuned for more useless information…


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