The terrible thing about being Jewish is that constant feeling that there is something wrong with you. Seriously, worry is our “thing”! That’s just what we do, what has been instilled in us from the beginning of time, STRESS. Its like a right of passage for us. You want to be born a Jew, ok here is a boulder to carry on your shoulders, At All Times. From now on, you worry about everything!
And you have to be a hypochondriac if you are Jewish, that’s a must also. Its part of Judaism. I wake up every morning wondering if I have some horrible, incurable disease, preferably something from the 15th Century! And not only do we love to complain about what hurts, we also try to out-do each other. Oh, you got a goiter? Well, that’s nothing. Look at this hemorrhoid the size of a tennis ball? Bet you’ve never had that before! Ha!
We wondered the Desert for 4o years, can you imagine what THAT was like?
– Its hot
– I’m thirsty
– I’m hungry
– I’m tired
– I want to go home
– I need to pee
– Where are the bathrooms?
– Where is the 5 star hotel i was promised?
– What do you mean i have to eat this flat, big cracker with no taste to it, instead of challah?
– My head hurts
– My ass hurts
– Where the hell is the Ritz?